Monday, February 1, 2010

Phuket - Slumming it - 1/19/10

We were slumming it today, going to different bars, having a drink here and there. I suppose I did not get a very accurate portrait of Thailand when I went to Phuket. It all seemed very surreal. All I can say was that it was loaded with tourists, mainly lots of white dudes with prostitutes. These guys were old, young jock types, all types of guys. You see them out on the streets, in restaurants. I also saw lots of transgender/transexual men to women but they were less scary.

Being a scooter passenger for the first time was very exhilarating. Keith rented a manual blue jerky scooter that included loose fitting helmets. The traffic was chaotic with not a traffic light in sight. Most passengers did not wear helmets. I could not imagine not wearing one, so I demanded it.

Seedy massage parlors were everywhere. We went around trying to look for a legitimate one as massage comes much cheaper here. The only strangers on the street I trusted asking were non-Asian women because A. if you ask a male foreigner, he is probably looking for some extra action B. if you ask a male or female Asian (I failed the quiz on so I would not be able to tell a tourist from a local) they could be a prostitute or they might recommend their sister/brother/mother/husband/dentist who might be awful at the service.

We ended up at a really awesome place called "Let's Relax". The one hour Thai massage was unbelievable and was done in a peaceful set up of clean, aromatic rooms by a professional staff, all for under 20 bucks! They even gave us a flowered foot bath beforehand and cookies and tea afterward. I want one again after the James Bond island tour but we will see.

On the walk back to the hotel, the party scene was crazy. Vegas has got nothing on Phuket. The momentum of energy builds throughout the day and as night falls, it explodes. Walk through a block of bars/restaurants and you see everything! Everyone is trying to lure you in with something. With each step, Keith muttered "I don't want DVDs, don't want massages, or a taxi ride (tuk tuk), or a tailored suit, nor a blowjob. I just want Tiger Thai boxing shorts for Preston (his brother)".

We called it an early night, like the old folks we aspire to be.

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